2001-06-28 - 4:00 p.m.

Do you ever think that your meant for something bigger than what you have right now? This is how I feel. I feel as though words cant describe the future Im in for. Like something major is supposed to happen and I dont know how, when, or what it is. I feel as though I was put here for something bigger, something that only I can accomplish. Does anyone else feel that way too? I feel that I have so many things inside of me, screaming to get out. And finding myself was merely the beginning. Talents and emotion, and everything else that life is made up of. This is what I feel I am going to achieve. The Ultimate "something". But I dont know what it is. And the inpatience of not knowing where I will be in 5 years is literally wearing me down. I know what I am striving for..... a successful life as a Graphic Artist, a lover for life, a friend forever, and a mother. I want all of this, as well as contentment with myself. But I feel as though a major breakthrough is about to happen, or I wonder if 5 months ago, 10 months ago, or even years ago, if I chose the wrong path somewhere and I already missed my "breakthrough". I am one who believes in fate, and superstitions. This is where my interests have developed from. No one really knows me. No one knows me when Im alone. No one knows what my true desires are. And every time we (writers) come to an open paper, we are stumpted to find a single, or plenty words that do our thoughts justice. Humans are creatures, all born with seperate talents and traits. We try to be pepole that we many not be, but we always dream of becoming. That is not what I am anymore. I will achieve and become what Ive wanted. I am a writer, I am a designer, I am a good daughter, I am lover, I am a photographer, I am a basketball player, a friend, a mentor, a granddaughter, a conifdon, a wannabe surfer, a artist, a thesbian, an advice-giver, an advice taker, a full-time worker, a rebel, a hugger, a non-drug user, a lesbian, a teenager, a crush, .......a human.

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