2001-06-30 - 12:18 a.m.

Past loves...

We hate them. Not the person, but the pain involved. We long to get over the memories and the promises of the future that was once so clearly mapped out. I love her, as I always will, but now its time to move on. Its been time to move on. They say that time will heal all wounds. Im praying that time will. There are days that I think of her more often than Id like to. There are days in which I think of all the great times we've had. There are days that I hate the stuff that she did to me. There are days were I hate the stuff I did to hurt her. There are days that I wish I could see her face once more, but I know that ist is over, and it is a good thing. There are days that I pain people around me for thinking of her, even accepting that it is done and over. I know it is. The love will be there, as it is with everyone and their past loves. This is something that everyone goes through. But why cant we be friends. I know that that is what is hurting me the worst is knowing that we cant at least be friends. She was like me in alot of ways, this is what Ive come to find. We were also different. She has the potiential to be a great friend, and I hate that I cant have her be there for me in that way. No strings, no nothing, just friendship. I want to be the helping hand, the listening ear, why cant I be? I loved her more than anyone else could even imagine. I looked for someone else when the effection wasnt there. Then , when it was, my head was screwed up at all the pros and cons. I loved her, more than anyone else ever will. But that is in the past. There are just days that I need to see her face, or hear her voice.

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