2004-04-30 - 8:08 p.m.

Branded with confusion

Scattered words are left as fragments

of my own realm.

Those thoughts

Those words

Left in my mind

Those images

Those impulses

I cannot hide

Though I try to move past

All the horribleness of what was left

When you left

When you were selfish in your ways

By choosing something that will decay.

However, knowing I love

And how difficult it was to shove

those feelings aside

though I cant obide

by my own words.

You left me in my aweful state

when I needed you the most

and you couldnt relate.

I want to believe those words

more than I want to believe this love

More than I want to be in love

With someone who says their "sorry".

Truth is, I *do* love you

Its a fact that you love me too

I know you do

Because I see your smile when you see me

and your wrapped in warmth

while Im fumbling glee

But I cannot help the fact

That I told myself I didnt want you back

and its horrible that I do

But.....

Im not sure if you even need to be

with me

or anyone else for that matter

until you find yourself

as I feel I have been getting closer

to finding myself.

I would love to love and be in love

but I feel I cant be in love with someone

who doesnt even know who they are yet

because they are so confused about them ownselves.

I would love to

I really would.

But dont you think you should

take a minute...

before I say yes

to ponder what you really want

and see if I still am just that

or maybe you just want me

because I began to let go.

Im not sure... I want to believe it

but, if you believe it...

then prove it...

because thats what I need is reassurance

and what you need is you

because I need to know if these words are true

No more lies,

no deceit

because it is reality now

and I want you to be prepared for that.

If that is what it comes down to.

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